Arden Prucha Photography

Even Though…

She has barely let me put her down for seven days.

I haven’t been able to blog, edit, work,  really ANYTHING much at all.

I want to pull my hair out at times.

I cannot fulfill what she needs – because it’s unknown.

I hold her more than ever before.

She wants only Mommy…

and I am what she needs more than anything else.

So what if:

So I get behind in work.

I get frazzled and frustrated.

I want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

I am exhausted.

 

She is my girl.

She needs me more than ever.

She is precious and tender.

Her needs are simple and innocent.

 

This too shall pass and it will probably too quickly,

for soon enough I won’t even remember this stage.

 

She loves me.

I love her.

 

 

Today is a very personal post… about how difficult it is being a stay at home mom, a business owner, an artist, a wife, yada yada yada.

Between my two children and my achey body that number three is brining I may just scream.

This story isn’t for sympathy, because I am a tough cookie and know, “This too shall pass.”

It’s just a vent of reality – the reality that many mothers don’t discuss… because it isn’t politically correct.

My son is having a very hard time this week… EVER tidying up, not having to argue anything I say, following directions and not crying.

He is talking a lot in school this week as well… he hasn’t been feeling up to par and hates cleaning his room.

Heck, I cannot blame him – BUT when you make a disaster in 5 minutes, I sure as heck am not cleaning it up… it’s his job, there is surely a learning experience through all of this right?

 

My daughter has been a whiny mess, feverish, possible teething?  She will scream for an hour and a half if she isn’t in my arms at every second.

I put her down… she slams her head into the ground (even if it’s concrete) out of her own frustration and rebellion, which then causes pain and turns the crying into screaming.

She won’t eat anything other than bread, crackers and cheese… literally.  Talk about feeling like a horrible mom – here have the cracker that you are crying for, for the 100th time this week.

I had a shoot Monday and Paul said she started screaming and crying and saying ‘Mama’ during her fit… ugh, breaks my heart.

It’s all just a phase… right?

 

Then come 3/4pm every day my body just begins to ache.  Flipping over in bed causes tailbone pain, my neck and head feel flu like, but it’s not the flu – it’s life I guess.

Luckily for me I am getting a massage with some girlfriends on Saturday… AMEN!  So, through all of this I am cranky as well.

I am also not a very compassionate and sweet hearted soul – I am a tough mama a tough woman… it’s my personality.  Bad things happen – get over it and make it better… a motto I live by? 🙂

Now I do love on them, tell them how much I love them, and cuddle with them, but I don’t baby or pamper them like a soft hearted mama.

I guess I look at the way I was raised, to solve problems rather than weep over and dwell on them.

I was never raised to feel sorry for myself or for them to feel sorry for me, which is great.

 

Today was like the rest this week… Pierson complaing about his wardrobe and how he has no school clothes (though there aren’t any in the hamper – where the HECK ARE THESE CLOTHES?),

taking about 23 minutes to get pants, a shirt and shoes on… what?! and then not wanting to eat much breakfast and arguing with me when I ask him to eat more.  The other morning he had a melt down about pants, it was awful – 30 minutes of crying about pants rather than getting new ones on… worrying about kids that will make fun of him at school.  Well guess what?  NO one did – in fact no one has EVER made fun of him at school, what a little worried tyke.

So today as he got ready and I asked him to keep his room clean this morning he threw his pjs on his floor and scattered them about… making yet another mess.

This probably sounds silly, but when it becomes an everyday occurance it can drive you and them nuts!

 

In the car I asked… ‘What are you frustrated with?  Is it Parker, that I am having another baby, that your dad is starting a new job, is it ME is it PDaddy?’

Well, his answer was simple: ‘I just don’t want to do all of these things that you want me to do.’

Now, unfortuantely his car ride to school is about 2 minutes, so my response was short and sweet:

‘Pierson, I know I tell you to do things you don’t want to do.  This is a parent’s job and I had to do the SAME things at your age, but I am not here to clean up after you and baby you.  What I am doing is teaching you!

I am teaching you how to be a good man – I am teaching you that you cannot rely on Mommy to clean up all of your messes… me babying you doesn’t create a good man.  If  I cleaned up after you on a daily basis I would be creating a man who expects his wife to clean up after him as well. Now, I AM teaching you how to be a man who can take care of himself, clean up after himself and take care of his wife and who respects and takes care of his mother too!  I am here to teach you to be responsible… do you understand that?’

A simple reply of ‘Yes Mommy’ with a nod and a smile as he jumped out of the car to run into school.

So will things be fixed come 3:00?  I have no idea… but it was neat being able to say – I am teaching you how to be a GOOD MAN.  A good MAN.  A GOOD man… for the future Mrs. in his life…

because if she will endure anything that I am enduring, she will already have plenty to clean up and take care of… a husband should be the icing on the cake not just another being to clean up after!

 

Now, I will put my crying baby down for a nap and try to get a bit of quiet and WORK time squeezed in before Parx wakes up and I’ll be holding my baby most of the day, because this is what keeps her from crying 🙂

 

Leaving this post with some beautiful images taken in December/January during our trip to Baton Rouge and New Orleans.

Colorful, full of love, laughter a brand new baby bump, and my beautiful family – whom I wouldn’t trade for the entire world.

I love them, they all ‘complete’ me 🙂

I wonder what number three is going to bring to the crazy train?

My love.